Wording of Letter Apparently Kills Deal to Buy Hospital

by Tony Shelton, Shelton & Caudle, a division of Vollmer PR

"My baby, she wrote me a letter.”   ...from The Letter by the Box Tops

These days, when your “Baby” is much more likely to text or tweet you than write, the nuances of letter writing can seem almost old-fashioned.

Everywhere, that is, except maybe in business. According to news reports today, the Harris County Hospital District backed out of a deal to buy a medical complex in southwest Houston from the Memorial Hermann Healthcare System, and the decision was based largely on the tone and wording of a letter sent by Memorial Hermann.

According to the Houston Chronicle, some apparently offensive elements of the letter included: use of demands and deadlines, the use of boldface type and “at least one exclamation point.”

Whatever the real impact of this one letter, it does give us reason to reconsider some basics of approaching the business letter.

• First we need to ask: What objective do we want this letter to achieve? Move the other person to act? Put him on the defensive?
• If there’s a negotiation going on, also consider how other communications are progressing, including phone conversations and face-to-face meetings.
• Who is the specific recipient of the letter? What’s the personality of that person, as well as of the organization? Is he or she open to direct language or likely to react strongly to something that seems like a demand?
• What’s the tone? Can we use neutral words, such as “challenge” instead of “problem”? Such choices can help soften the tone, which might have come across as accusatory or derogatory. (It’s also generally a good idea to skip the boldface type, underlining and exclamation points – all of which can seem like “shouting” on the page.)
• What’s the likely reaction to the letter you’ve drafted? If possible, show it to someone who’s not intimately involved in the negotiation and get an opinion.
• Finally, ask: If we’ve got tough issues to hammer out, is it really better to put them into a letter or should we try to work them out face to face?

If you’re in doubt, involve a communication expert. Vollmer’s counselors often work with companies and organizations involved in negotiations, mergers and acquisitions, as well as crises of all types.

Remember that a letter lacks the emotion and nuances that color conversation. That’s why it’s even more important to carefully consider every word -- and every exclamation point, too, Baby!